8/23 - Potty Training in the Big Apple

Today began at Ninham Mountain State Park in Mahopac, NY. Each of us arose around mid morning and moved leisurely about the grounds; washing up in the "spring", folding up sleeping bags, sitting on rocks, etc. Karl had the awesome idea to get the fire back going and soon enough we were roasting s'mores pop tarts (perfect, right?), cinnamon raisin bagels, and all kinds of beans. 

For those New Englanders out there who DON'T have these, they may be the best reason to leave the  northeast. Fuckin' delicious. 

"Ugh I have to deal with these losers."

Some guy had the nerve to build a goddamn beautiful chair out of rocks. 

After enjoying the park for a bit longer we shoved away to a nearby Starbucks to get some wi-fi and chill as we had only a two hour drive to St. Vitus in Brooklyn. We totally cashed out on the $2 grande drinks after 2pm with a receipt from buying something before then. For four bucks total I got a legit cup of coffee as well as a devilishly indulgent "Mocha Cookie Crumble Frapuccino"! With our fancy drinks in our hands, we left for the Big Apple!

It's not even coffee, it's just candy!

The drive over was nothing but pleasureful. Just a short 2 hour drive, we drove down highways that were familiar to Matt and Dave from an early age. Weather was nice, and the old melodeath jams were pumping! About halfway through the car ride, an awful realization dawned on Joe and I (Matt here, helllooo). We had each had two delicious starbucks treats apiece, and that coffee wasn't staying put. Both of us had to urinate ferociously. Much love to Joby for his guts and ingenuity. Awhile back in Chicago, you may remember that he bought a tube of caramel creams that measured a full 3 feet. Well, we had all but finished those caramel creams at this point, and now it's just a 3 foot tube doing nothing. It wasn't the kind of piss that you can hold in for awhile, it was the kind that was dire as shit! So Joe ended up pissing in a tube, apprehensive the whole while that the tube would fill up, and that his "dick would split open" because stopping his stream would be damn near impossible. Turns out he had just enough room! (Sorry for the gory details, but it was just that great of a moment). We were stuck in slow-moving traffic in the Bronx with a cop car right behind ours. Totally not a good time to dump out the tube on the road. However the situation was growing steadily more desperate. He'd tested the tube for water tightness before pissing in the tube, all seemed to be just fine. Presumably, it was the increase in liquid temperature that softened the plastic and, in turn, caused a small leak of Joe's piss to spring. Being the quick-thinking chap he is, he whipped out his bandanna and stopped the leak until we parked some half an hour later. At that point, the bandanna was soaked; you can imagine that it ended up in a trash can damn near immediately. I did not have the same boldness to relieve myself into a food container,  so I waited it out and then found a nice secluded basketball court in Brooklyn to use. 

Happy Joby with an empty tube!

Happy Joby with an empty bladder!

After the piss adventure, we hopped over to St. Vitus where we loaded in our gear and backlined immediately. We were the first band there, and we set up our stuff because it was a gear sharing night. St. Vitus is the best looking venue a metal band can play at. The aesthetic is perfect. Dim, black paint, candles, iron wrought doorhandles, kickass sound, good stage. Totally cool place all around. First up was a sick band from Philly called Hollenlarm, who rocked the stage with some crossover black metal/crust/doom/groove shit. Fucking sick check them out! Autolatry took the stage next, and people really appreciated our music. We're very glad about that so it's assured we'll be back in NYC sometime soon!After us came Unholy Spirits. They brought most of the crowd and people ate that shit up! After them was Discordia, another black metal band from the city with a whole hell of a lot of people who showed up. Mortum closed out the night with their straight up black sorcery. Check out these bands, especially Hollenlarm, when you get the chance.

As sad as it is, this is one of the last blogs; our last show of the tour is tonight in New London, CT! Tune in tomorrow for what's sure to be a killer write up for our last day on tour. Stay silly you metalheads!