8/17 - Too crowded and it smells like poop.

get it all in there nice and deeeeply

The kind people of Idaho Falls gave us a place to stay for the night. The drive to Denver from Idaho Falls was daunting though, so we’d only be sleeping for a few hours. Some of us fell asleep instantaneously, while others enjoyed the conversation of Doug and Leaf Raker until the wee hours. It had been a really good night, even though it came on such short notice. We rose bright and early; 6AM was departure time for Denver. All of us were zombies.

Even though it was a 10 hour drive to our next destination, we were told by some locals that the beginning of the drive was the most beautiful drive they’d ever done. Directly east of Idaho Falls, ID is the Grand Teton National Forest that bridges the borders of Idaho and Wyoming. They weren’t lying when they said it is beautiful. Especially at sunrise, the scenery was breathtaking. There unfortunately aren’t any pictures of this magical forest wonderland because most of the band was sleeping during this segment of the drive, me being no exception. We ended up pulling over for a 45 minute respite because Karl needed a little extra shuteye. The sun came over the trees then and it was a beautiful start to the morning.

That was all very damn well, but the reality of the situation was that we had another 8.5 hours to go, and we had driven through all the forest that exists on i-80 between Idaho Falls and Cheyenne. We’ve been through some very desolate landscapes, but Wyoming is a whole new ballgame. It is literally the most empty place any of us have ever seen. There are no curves in the road, no clouds, no trees for miles, no cars, no other humans, not even a fucking sales tax! This place was very, very empty. Except for snow fences and the ordinary cattle ranch, this place has absolutely nothing to offer travelers. Karl is insistent on buying a plot of land there and digging the world’s largest handmade cave there.

The one interesting stop we made on the way was at a rest stop with a towering bust of Abe Lincoln on the side. I’m not exactly sure why that was put in Wyoming, but that’s all fine because he was a swell guy. Inside, there was an exhibit on the natural highlights of Wyoming. Grizzly bears, various other wild critters, and signs boasting how much coal and natural gas Wyoming has.

Taxidermy!

We love Wyoming!

"I wonder if I can zoom in on its balls."

Woops this is sideways

After a quick chuckle with some taxidermized beasts, we were back on our way to Denver. The drive was boring, but we finished it out in good spirits, only hitting a little bit of Denver traffic. When we arrived, we were surprised to discover the sheer amount of metal shows happening in Denver that night. There were two concerts happening at the bar we played, Old Curtis Street (which happened to smell powerfully of human feces). Not only that, but there was a show at the bar right down the road, and a show at an auto shop around the corner. 4 metal shows…..in the same neighborhood! It’s hard to fathom that even more could’ve been going on in other parts of the town. Next door to our show was a punk show, which had a really good turnout. Fortunately, people were going back and forth between the two gigs, so the smaller gig next door didn’t get totally fucked.

Smells like poop in there

Let's light these candles to diminish the poop odor with sensitive aromatherapy. 

The show got started at around 10PM, opening with the band Scepter of Eligos. They had a tight style of old school black metal that kept the crowd hungry for more. Up next was a brutal death metal band from Colorado Springs called Execration. They are some cool dudes, and have a really good sound despite having no bassist. Our personal recommendation is to check out their song “Retard Strength,” it puts us in stitches every time. People were shuffling in and out during the show, but fortunately they shuffled back in right as we started out set. We were generally well received by the fans who weren’t trve & kvlt to beat the band (literally).

After the gig, people left that venue faster than a pack of Norwegian whale skinners at a Chinese roasted walrus festival to head back to the big party that was the punk rock show next door. We didn’t have the option of crashing with anyone at that point, so we figured that we’d just start on the road toward our next date and hit up a rest stop for sleep. These next few days are constantly in flux: we’re going to be playing in Omaha, NE on 8/18, and Chicago the next day, but the three dates immediately following that have not been confirmed yet, so we’re just going to take it day by day and keep all of you readers guessing! Stay tuned for more shenanigans and animal ballsack close-ups.